Ah mealtimes. That special part of the day when the family gathers around the table forks in hand. Sometimes we encounter opposition from a voice saying "Yuck!". Fear not friends! This is not a battle (I know it feel like it) but an opportunity to try something new. In the realm of eating habits using the words can be your secret weapon. So let’s expand your vocabulary and mealtime toolkit that turns mealtime into an opportunity for connecting, learning and exploration rather than a battle royal.
Embracing Togetherness
Mealtime goes beyond nourishment; it is a chance to strengthen family bonds. Think about this - starting dinner, with an enthusiastic "I love sharing meals with you!" is pretty heart-warming and we go from:
This simple yet powerful statement can transform the dining table into a space that’s all about being better together. Pretty neat, right?
Empower with Autonomy
Hand over the reins. "You can try some when you're ready," gives kids the power to choose, making them active participants in the meal and what goes into their body that day. It's about offering them the wheel, showing trust in their ability to explore at their own pace.
Engage the Senses
Let's get sensory. Describe that crunchy carrot or that sweet orange in vivid detail. Phrases like "these carrots crunch like autumn leaves!" or "This orange? SO juicy!" help children imagine and prepare themselves for the food. It helps to reduce the worry of the ‘unknown’ which is a positive step back towards the dinner table. Read more about the sensory system and mealtimes here.
Invoke Curiosity
Curiosity didn't just kill the cat; it got kids excited about veggies. "I wonder what happens if we add a sprinkle of this?" turns mealtime into a science experiment. It's about sparking that innate curiosity which can transform meals from ‘Mission Impossible’ to ‘Mission Accepted.
It's great to see when a child is willing to try something even if they're uncertain. They’re showing bravery and a sense of exploration! It takes time to learn. Celebrate in this! But not too much (outloud anyway) because some kids haaaate it and it can backfire. You know your child best, so serve up the right amount of confetti for them.
Offer Choices
Choices empower. "Would you rather the red apple or the green apple?" It's simple but it works. Giving your kids a say in their meal, making them feel respected and heard (something we all should feel). Plus, it's a gentle but stealthy way to introduce new contenders to the menu (remember, no trickery or pressure please).
Normalise Mealtime Presence
Stick around, even if the appetite doesn't. "Let's chat even if you're not hungry." This emphasises that mealtime is as much about ‘being’ as it is about ‘doing’. It's about valuing time together, regardless of how much ends up on the fork.
Quick sidebar: don’t expect the 3 year old to be at the table for the complete 10 course dégustation, they haven’t developed the brain neurons for that yet!
Foster Thoughtfulness
Encourage a little food reflection. "What did you think of the taste?" opens up a dialogue, encouraging kids to articulate their food experiences. It's about nurturing thoughtful eaters who engage actively with their meals. If you rely on yes or no questions, it will likely limit the depth of engagement with the food experience and we want them to deep dive!
No Pressure
"Gentlemen, I have a plan. It's called blackmail." - Dr Evil
Don’t be like Dr Evil.
Take the pressure off. "You don't have to finish it," can be a sigh of relief, making mealtime a no-pressure zone. It's about enjoying the journey, not just reaching the destination plate-clean. Remember that when unfamiliar foods are served the unknown is scary, you may as dishing up grasshoppers. I strongly recommend everyone watches this video (no, don’t worry it isn’t a video of eating grasshoppers), but it will get you thinking!
This approach allows children to listen to their own bodies and decide what they are comfortable eating, making mealtime a more positive experience.
Praise Exploration
Celebrate the brave tasters. "Wow, you tried it – that's awesome!" Applaud their adventurous spirit, however small the venture. It's about encouraging exploration, one tiny taste at a time.
Hunger and Fullness Awareness
Listen to the tummy talks. "Your tummy's full? That's cool." It's about teaching kids to tune into their own bodies, recognising when they're full or still peckish. It's a skill that'll serve them well beyond the dinner table.
Customise for Enjoyment
Customise the cooking canvas. "Shall we jazz it up with a dash of this?" (does anyone say “jazz it up, or is it just me?). Perhaps you can write your own - “maybe we can [insert cute food related action here] to make our beans EVEN better”. Make mealtime a collaborative art project, where kids get to add their own sprinkle of creativity. It's about making meals that are as unique as they are.
Lead by Example
Monkey see, monkey do. Dive into your greens with gusto, showing them how it's done. Your enthusiasm is contagious; let it spread like the finest of jams. It's about being the culinary role model they'll want to emulate.
Acknowledging Feelings
Let's get emotional. "Feeling unsure about that new food?" Acknowledge those mealtime emotions, offering support and understanding. It's about creating a space where all feelings are welcome at the table.
Other ideas you could try for older kids are “I understand that sometimes food can make us feel worried or unsure. It's okay to have those emotions. I want you to know that your feelings are valid and I'm here to support you”. Creating this understanding environment helps reduce anxiety, about mealtime. Read more about signs of stress at the table by heading to The Chicago Feeding Group.
Empowering Language for Mealtime
Arm yourself with phrases that empower, engage, and excite. From "I wonder..." to "You choose...", it's about weaving positivity and autonomy into every meal. It helps to turn down the ‘flight of fight’ responses, which will cater to growing more eaters.
Learning from the Experts
When we incorporate the wisdom of experts, like Gabor Maté, Dan Siegel and the Neufeld Institute it greatly enriches our understanding of attachment, childhood development and parenting. Also you must check out the GOATs of the feeding world Ellyn Satter, Marsha Dunn Klein and Suzanne Evans Morris. These valuable perspectives can help parents effectively navigate the dynamics of mealtimes with empathy.
By drawing on the wisdom of child development experts parents can gain strategies for creating a nurturing environment during mealtimes. These insights serve as guidance in supporting children's well being and physical health through eating practices.
Resources to Enhance Joyful Mealtimes
For resources on creating intuitive experiences during mealtimes I recommend checking out our Fussy Eating PLAYmat and Guidebook set. Also be sure to check out blogs, on parenting and mindful eating.
“Grab and Go" Phrases for your mealtimes:
This list of phrases is your quick-reference guide to navigating mealtime with a blend of positivity, encouragement, and understanding. Keep it handy to infuse your mealtime conversations with empathy, creativity, and joy.
- “I love eating with you!”
- “These carrots are super crunchy!”
- “This orange tastes like candy!”
- “You can try some when you’re ready.”
- “You can move it off your plate with your napkin.”
- “I wonder what it’s like if we cut it smaller.”
- “Which would you prefer?”
- “It’s okay if you’re not hungry, but please stay to chat.”
- “What do you think?”
- “You don’t have to eat it.”
- “You tried it even though you weren’t sure.”
- “What would happen if we add a bit of… (sauce, grated cheese, hummus)?”
- “Whaaattttt?!”
- “I love ____!”
- “Not today, thanks.”
- “You are telling me you’ve had enough.”
- “You are feeling worried.”
- “I’m finding this hard.”
- “You might find this tricky; I’m here to help!”
- “You’re still learning it takes time.”
And there you have it – a toolkit bursting at the seams with phrases, strategies, and a dash of psychology, all designed to make mealtime a joyous adventure. So, the next time "Yuck!" echoes across the table, smile, because you've got this. You're not just feeding them; you're nurturing curious, thoughtful, joy-filled eaters. Here's to turning "Yuck" into "Yum" and battles into bonding. Cheers!
FAQ
How can I encourage a child who is particular, about the textures of their food?
To engage as a child's interest and curiosity you can gently introduce them to textures in a fun and relaxed way. Encourage them to touch, smell and interact with their food using language like "These carrots are really crunchy!" or “this yogurt is so smooth!" This helps create associations. You can also try tastings without any pressure. Show them how you enjoy various textures yourself which can further motivate them to explore new ones.
How does giving my child choices during mealtimes empower them?
Offering choices during mealtimes gives your child a sense of independence and involvement in their eating decisions. It empowers them to participate positively with their food. Simple options such as letting them choose between two vegetables or select their plate make them feel valued and respected in the decision making process. This empowerment reduces resistance. Encourages openness to trying foods as they feel actively included.
Can nurturing curiosity change my child's perspective, on foods?
Certainly! Nurturing curiosity transforms foods from being intimidating to intriguing for children. It encourages them to approach trying foods as an adventure.I think it's really interesting when we wonder about how things might change if we made them smaller or what flavors something new might have. It makes eating seem like an adventure and less like a chore.
How can I remove pressure from eating while still focusing on nutrition?
Focus on the overall mealtime experience rather than the amount of food consumed to remove pressure from eating. Encourage a positive relationship with food by providing a variety of nutritious options and using phrases such as "You don’t have to eat it if you're not ready" to reduce stress. A pressure-free environment, coupled with healthy, appealing choices, encourages a more varied and nutritious diet over time as children learn to try new foods at their own pace.
How do I encourage my child to understand their hunger and fullness cues?
Encouraging your child to listen to their body's hunger and fullness signals involves open conversations about their feelings before, during, and after meals. Phrases like "Are you full, or is there room for a little more?" or "Let your tummy tell you if you need more," help children develop a mindful eating practice. This recognition of internal cues fosters healthy eating habits and promotes self-regulation.
What are some things I can say when my child tries foods?
When your child tries something you can praise their spirit with positive phrases like;
"Wow even though you weren't sure about it I admire your bravery for giving it a try!"
"I'm really proud of you, for being willing to taste something "
"Wow you're really adventurous when it comes to trying foods!"
These positive affirmations can help encourage and nurture a mindset towards exploring food options.
Where can I find resources to help implement these mealtime strategies?
For resources on integrating these mealtime strategies, check out our blogs and products over at [Joyfull](https://joyfullmealtimes.com.au/shop). We offer a variety of articles on gentle parenting and its benefits to mealtime, alongside products like the Joyfull Playmat to make eating a more interactive and enjoyable experience. Additionally, following any of the links above will get you started!